Last week, we debuted a recurring feature in which we unveil some notable (and ideally, insane) soundbites from upcoming new episodes of VH1's uber-self-aware Behind the Music series. And while we stand by our skewering of DMX's out-of-context tangents, his installment turned out to be significantly less formulaic and self-promotional than most.
So does that mean we're pre-emptively singling out choice Christina Aguilera snippets from her cable mini-doc (airing on VH1 this Sunday at 9 p.m.)? Maybe. Do the below excerpts have us considering X-Tina's primetime retrospective instead of True Blood's premiere? You gotta be kidding.
Nonetheless, here are the five Aguilera one-liners that have us wondering if the recently maligned vocal powerhouse needs to check herself before she what-the-heck's herself (who refers to their spouse in the possessive, anyway?):
“I wanted to make a statement, and a bold one and what better way to do it than to wear ass-less chaps when you’re 21 years old."IN OTHER WORDS: We've no doubt Aguilera's had her share of tough times, and we all respect her innate talent, but as her adversary Lady Gaga needs to learn as well, the less seriously you take yourself, the more the public will love you.
“I do battle with depression. It’s something that is always right below the surface. And it’s almost seductive to go to a place of sadness and darkness.”
“I’m truly thankful for the darkest times in my life.”
“I definitely don’t choose the safe way of living or expressing myself but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“My Jordan, he came to me at a time in my life when everything seemed a bit blurry."
CHRISTINA'S LATEST PUBLIC-PERSONA RATING: 3/10
ANTICIPATION FOR HER BEHIND THE MUSIC RATING: 7/10
WHO CARES WHEN TRUE BLOOD IS ON ANYWAY? OMG/10